Hello,
My boyfriend Jim committed suicide when we were both 16 shortly after I ended our relationship. We were both very much in love and shared a very high spiritual connection, but I ended our relationship suddenly and out of fear that things were moving too fast. I was devastated when he took his own life. I had a dream experience where he visited me months later and told me he didn't really die, just his body, that he loved me and everything would be ok, and then he said he had to leave me and I cried for him not to leave. When I awoke I felt so much peace, and I was able to leave that loss behind, or so I thought. Over the years I have sensed him with me, I know he is with me, watching over, but recently I have had a strong feeling that he needs to talk to me, as if he has a message, an urgent one. I also have a stronger feeling that he wants me to join him, to be with him on the other side. I mean it is not like I think about him on a regular basis, it has been 15 years now, I am confused that this would be happening now. I am somewhat afraid of this, I have a child and a new relationship, I do not feel I am ready to leave this world at this time. How can I open myself to communicating with him more to understand what he is trying to tell me? I need him to let me go, and I need to let him go, I cannot carry the guilt of his death forever, but I will always love him, and will always miss him. Any answers? Has anyone else felt feelings like this from the other side? What should I do?
Thanks, Jill