Hello Jennifer,

I understand. That's a difficult decision to make. As always, I answer from my own perspective, not Dr. Botkin's.

Let your intuition guide you. Our culture has a very odd perspective on death. We acknowledge it, but act as though it isn't inevitable. We avoid talking about it, especially with those who are dying, even though it's the most predictable and normal part of our lives.

Part of the reason for that is the radical materialist perspective dominating our culture, that nothing exists except matter and energy, meaning consciousness is simply a secretion of the brain, and when the brain dies, consciousness dies. Facing that is so horrifying to people that they avoid thinking about death, and hence avoid talking about it.

If people realized that there is more to life than matter and energy, and that the most important part of who they are continues after death, they might find it easier to share this important part of everyone's life openly and lovingly, together. But since it's a taboo subject, we're robbed of the opportunity to participate intimately in it with someone, that person is left to face it alone, and words and feelings we could share but do not remain unsaid and unfelt until death separates us physically.

Your decision about whether to help her see another perspective on death at such a late hour is one you must make based on your understanding of her. I certainly would share with you or her in private e-mails or by phone any perspectives I could at any time you or she wished to talk about them. I could never advise you or her, but am very open to speaking about it.

Listen to your intuition. A great teacher and counselor abides there.

Craig Hogan